The Good and Bad news is...

Found this photo online of my neighbor's house burning (2 doors down). Very sad.

This is the last of the bad news, I promise!!!! With ashes come renewal: renewed growth, renewed gratitude, renewed focus.

I am grateful to say that Audrey the Great Dane and I are returning home tonight! I am so looking forward to cleaning up and getting settled (literally...I feel like a kid going to Disneyland...I am jumping up and down. My co-worker just asked what I ate for breakfast! I'm sure the Lucky Charms aren't helping).

Now is the perfect time to go through items I haven't used or worn in 6 months and donate them. There is something so refreshing about lightening your load. Some of you must think I'm crazy as I've pretty much 'lightened my load' as much as anyone could, but you know, after that brief moment of contemplation when I had to decide what I should grab and put in the car as I ran out the door, I realize I could afford to give myself a little more freedom.

Lots and lots of love to you all.

To be continued...

B's latest news...

Wildfire Threatens Luxury Malibu Homes

Last Edited: Sunday, 21 Oct 2007, 2:30 PM EDT

Created: Sunday, 21 Oct 2007, 1:30 PM EDT

10/21/2007 -- A wildfire is raging in the Malibu Hills, an upscale area of California that attracts A-list film stars. The flames have already destroyed a spectacular property named Castle Kashan that overlooks the Pacific Ocean. Fanned by strong winds, the blaze is forcing the evacuation of hundreds from their luxury homes. Some 400 firefighters are battling against the wildfire, which is also posing a threat to Pepperdine University. Students were told to gather in the university's basketball arena as the campus was evacuated. At least 500 acres of land has been engulfed and the Pacific Coast Highway has been closed. Television footage showed thick smoke obscuring the sun and erratic wind gusts of up to 65 mph bending palm trees nearly in half. Cars and trees along the highway could be seen catching fire. Wildfires were widely expected in Southern California over the weekend as hot weather and high winds marked the height of traditional wildfire season after one of the driest rain years on record. ....

I was awakened at 5:10am by a police officer with a megaphone blasting into my window "This is the Los Angeles Police Department. You must leave your residence now. Please evacuate. There is a fire very near by. Please EVACUATE".

I grabbed my dog, threw on pair of jeans, pulled on my Uggs, grabbed my passport and headed out the door...basically still asleep. Power in Malibu was out. I still don't know what I tossed into my backpack...most likely one sock and my least favorite pair of underwear. Wind was so strong as I drove aimlessly down the PCH, trash cans were flying across the highway in front of me. Street signs were hanging off of their poles, lit only by my headlights and the passing firetrucks.

I'm OK. We're OK. My possessions....not so sure, but who cares? The "Castle Kashan" mentioned in the above article is right above my house. The Malibu Presbyterian Church showed in the photo above is...or was located right below my house. I heard that the house on the corner (4 doors down) burned to the ground. The fire is still burning.

Perspective. I'm so grateful to have friends that care. I am sitting on Taylor's floor watching the news as she is kind enough to send an email out to folks letting them know me and the dog are OK. Her mom made pancakes (my favorite thing) and coffee. I've been phoned, text messaged, emailed by so many of you, I feel like the luckiest girl alive. Thank you.

Much love.

To be continued....

For the love of cars.

Many of you know I have a slight bit of a conflict going on in inside regarding cars. I am first and foremost for the environment, yet have a love for sports cars with smooth lines that could get me into a lot of trouble (if I only had a garage for them). I suppose it is similar to my challenge of finding a suitable partner. Where to find a hot, clean, environmentally keen man who is low maintenance, always down for a road trip, upfront about communicating when he needs time to 're-fuel', is safe and fun to drive? *Add unbelievably dramatic sigh here.*

Today, I fell in love at first sight. I attended the 2nd annual AltCar Expo in Santa Monica, and there he was...top off, ready to be energized...by being plugged into a wall. Yes. A plug-in electric Porsche 959. Beautiful. Simple. Classic. Possible.

Check out EV Porsche online at http://www.evporsche.com.

Fun times.

Beauty defined.

This is f**king beautiful.

Where are you?

"The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved, desirous of everything at
the same time, the ones who never yawn or
say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn,
burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles
exploding like spiders across the stars..."

~ Jack Kerouac

Mac OSeX

Pre-ordered LEOPARD today!!!!! Kicks major ass. From the new ichat effects, to 'Spaces' (to feng shui your desk top), to the capability to organize your files into stacks....yikes, I may have just experienced a geek-gasm. :)

Happy Birthday, lil' brudder!!!!

My little brother, whom I love with all of my heart, is turning a year older today. I can't express with mere words on a page how proud I am of him and his life, how he has chosen to live it as a free spirit, and his many creative successes. He is surely one of the most talented, gifted and authentic souls alive today.

I remember telling him when we were very little "It won't happen unless you truly believe!!! You can not doubt one bit!". Of course, I was referring to the fact that he surely could fly whilst sitting upon a skateboard, with cardboard wings and a back-pack containing one peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a few Legos and his favorite stuffed animal monkey that resembled him to a 'T'.

I stood behind him with tear filled eyes, making him promise that he'd come back and pick me up once he was in the air, so we could escape the harshness of our lives at the time. Where were we headed? Probably Disneyland...there were plenty of workers there that could take care of us and plenty of rides to find shelter in. It didn't matter. We just wanted out and we knew if we had each other, we could accomplish anything. Well, I pushed and pushed as fast as I could down the sidewalk on Reading Drive in that old California town. No lift off. Of course it was due to the ounce of doubt he was holding onto. Ya, big sis always knew how to apply the pressure. Faith!!!! Must...have...faith!

And here we are today, still having conversations on belief and accomplishment. Still providing for one another when the other needs support. I can't imagine having only one child....growing up without my monkey-faced little brother would have not been so fun.

Here's to growing up and moving on. I love you little brudder.

Your biggest fan,

b

Failure

With the sound of ocean waves crashing in the background, I sat in a cloud-like chair this evening surrounded by four beautiful, powerful women to whom I am grateful to consider friends. We all come from completely different backgrounds, some different countries, yet we were still able to enjoy each other's company, sharing laughter, memories and an unforgettable sunset sprinkled with a magical pod of dolphins. I believe the time we shared today was in the plan since before we were born.

The topic came up regarding that ever so popular quote found on numerous paper-weights: "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail"? Thoughts of my life up to this point swarmed in my head like bees buzzing about frantically, searching for nectar. After a bout of silence, the word came to me. Love. I didn't want to say it aloud, but small and timid as the word was, it screamed out relentless, louder than an impetuous Hummer limousine screams "Hey look at me, look at me!!!!" I had to say it.

From the time I was a little girl, with a huge imagination and a serious faith in wishful thinking (later realizing I was actually tapping into creative visualization at a very early age), I have always gone after what I wanted with full force and accomplished what I set out to do, for the most part. One example, becoming a stand up comic. Shy as ever, with many issues to work out at the time, I did it. I did it until I no longer needed to. I've hoped to work with particular film directors and it has happened. I obsessed about a particular car for a year, I bought it. Have always wanted to live in Malibu...here I am. Very shallow hopes I know, but you get the picture.

So, what would I do then, if failing was not an option? As tears began to fill my eyes, I came to the realization that I would choose to LOVE with all my heart, mind, soul and strength...breaking down all walls, all barriers, expressing raw emotion and freely sharing joy with the utmost tribal strength, holding back nothing. No worries, no insecurities, no secrets, no games, no ego. Just me and another sharing individual moments, one at a time. A friend, a family member, a husband, a child: love.

Love is patient. Love is unselfish. Love is faithful. Love is kind. Love is hopeful. Love is confident. Love is unconditional. Love is hard. Time to get started.