Create

"Our species is the only creative species, and it has only one creative instrument, the individual mind and spirit of a man (and woman). Nothing was ever created by two men. There are no good collaborations, whether in music, in art, in poetry, in mathematics, in philosophy. Once the miracle of creation has taken place, the group can build and extend it, but the group never invents anything. The preciousness lies in the lonely mind of a man. And now the forces marshaled around the concept of the group have declared a war of extermination on that preciousness, the mind of man. By disparagement, by starvation, by repressions, forced direction, and the stunning hammerblows of conditioning, the free, roving mind is being pursued, roped, blunted, drugged. It is a sad suicidal course our species seems to have taken.

And this I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual. This is what I am and what I am about. I can understand why a system built on a pattern must try to destroy the free mind, for that is the one thing which can by inspection destroy such a system. Surely I can understand this, and I hate it and will fight against it to preserve the one thing that separates us from the uncreative beasts. If the glory can be killed, we are lost."

~John Steinbeck, East of Eden

Indebted

A friend of mine called yesterday to comment on what she had heard a journalist report on the Writer's Guild strike. Apparently, this reporter was in front of Paramount Studios, standing among the picketers, but you wouldn't have known it as there wasn't a peep, not a megaphone in the vicinity, nor a chant. It was so quiet, the reporter felt urged to comment on that fact alone.

Remember Vietnam? I suppose we were pushed to stand up, pump our fists, lay on the ground, scream and yell as it was a bit more personal due to the draft. Times have certainly changed since then. I have a little theory on it that I like to call "DEBT".

Credit Cards were rare in the "old days". Anyone can get one these days. In fact, you go to apply for college and you're being sent credit offers left and right. Unlike France where your education is paid for by the government, we enter college and are, for the most part, instantly in a heck of a lot of debt...and spend the next several years out of school working any job we can get, sometimes more than one, simply to get us out of the hole we have dug for ourselves (by the way, in France - the government is more afraid of the people as they are not at all timid about protesting. We are the other way around...get the picture? Watch "Michael Moore's "Sicko". They also have Universal health care. Go figure.).

When you are indebted to someone or something, you become a slave to it, you lose your freedom. Along with slavery comes fear, and when you are afraid, you tend to keep quiet and "do as you're told" in order to remain in the state you are in. Think about it, if you speak up, you could lose your horrible, hated corporate job (that has nothing to do with the major you chose). If you lose your job, how will you afford to pay rent, pay for your car, pay off your credit card debt, pay for your student loans, pay for your mortgage? If you lose your home, your car, your "freedom", you will no longer be looked at as an educated, respectable, acceptable, functioning part of society. You will be ALONE. We call this "freedom". Sounds a lot like slavery to me.

FEAR, FEAR, FEAR. It all boils down to the last part I spoke of, fear of being alone. The media/schools/parents/advertising agencies teach us that in order to be respected and loved, you must get a good education which will ultimately lead to a good job so you can drive a nice car, have a nice house, enjoy vacations....and shut the hell up or you'll lose it all. So, why don't they just come straight out and say that debt brings happiness? Because it doesn't. Debt brings control. Debt makes it a lot easier on the government when they are funding a useless, endless war. We 'need' to keep our jobs so we tape our mouths shut. Debt makes it a lot easier on the producers when those of us not in the Writer's Guild fear losing our jobs, therefore are not supportive of the strike.

Maybe radical, physical picketing is outdated. Maybe we need to use the strategy the government has created against them. We could stop buying the gas, stop buying the toys, stop buying the gossip magazines, stop working our production jobs for a minute, stop buying into the lies. We could each work on avoiding the need to consume and begin paying our way out of slavery...paying off our credit cards, paying off our car loans, paying off our mortgages and taste real freedom for a change.

My point in this rant: no matter the cause, speak up. We can't be afraid to speak up and be heard. Whether it be a child not able to get a book for a class, being rejected health insurance coverage, or our brothers and sisters dying in a pointless war - we've got to open up our mouths and speak our truths. (I apologize if my point wasn't clear prior to posting this paragraph.) I in no way compare the Writer's Guild strike to the horrendous losses in Vietnam (thank you, anonymous) other than the fact that I feel no matter what the cause, if it is important to you, one shouldn't allow fear of loss to tape our mouths shut.

Another note to anonymous poster: Next time, post your name...don't be fearful of expressing your opinion. Maybe then we can discuss the issue. Also, I might add, I am merely expressing opinion here...I am not reporting news or writing history text books. Therefore, my opinion is not out of touch, nor have I 'missed it'. I so love the fact that you have expressed your opinion though as it caused me to go back and rethink the message I was putting forth. :) Love, love and more love.

Question

If your God is so awesome, omnipresent and powerful, why do you feel the need to protect and defend him/her?

Strike!

Many of my friends are writers and many of my friends are not. The majority of my friends and I depend on film production to pay bills. In the midst of this strike I have heard many conflicting arguments as to whether or not folks are in support, which has urged me to voice my opinion.

Times are a changin', they always have and always will, and sometimes it takes something or someone to ripple the water a bit in order to get folks to catch up to modern times. Take Rosa Parks for instance. If she hadn't stood up against the wishes of that bus driver, how much longer would it have taken for things to change in that aspect?

I believe our natural inclination is to stick with the old, stick with what we know, but that isn't always beneficial to ourselves or mankind. With new technology comes change and with change comes freshness, new ideas, new ways of living life. With the WGA strike, what we have is a group of people providing a service in which technology has surpassed them in their compensation. So it is time for a change, and if these people don't do something drastic, such as putting our jobs on the line, technology will surpass them and they will be stuck sitting in the back of the bus, so to speak.

Our educational system is much the same way. Our schools were re-designed during the Agricultural Era in preparation for the Industrial Era and even though we've moved on to the Technological Era, our children are still being taught in the regimented ways meant to train those looking toward working in factories.

We will now be a part of history, reminiscing back on the day writers weren't paid for internet shows in which they won Emmy's, shows downloaded by those of us who have no time to make it home to watch our favorite shows due to long production hours.

I'm back!!! and more randomness.

Hello all! I'm back. Back home in the 'bu, back online...Tivo is having issues (apparently something about the infrastructure being damaged...sounds fun), ring tone has returned. Back yard burned up to the house, front yard burned...but the house is perfectly fine. I am so grateful to the firefighters, neighbors and anyone else who helped in saving my little house! But this is not why I am brave..(I think my sense of humor has returned as well).

I asked someone out today. I did. I really, really did. I have never done this before. Call me old fashioned, shy or chicken sh*t, but it is true. I think with all of my unfortunate dating debacles as of late, I am to the point of knowing there's 'nothing to lose'. Still I wonder if it is a mistake to ask a guy out, possibly forfeiting my female 'mystery' and his chance at enjoying 'the chase'. Who knows anymore, right? Any thoughts, friends?

The Good and Bad news is...

Found this photo online of my neighbor's house burning (2 doors down). Very sad.

This is the last of the bad news, I promise!!!! With ashes come renewal: renewed growth, renewed gratitude, renewed focus.

I am grateful to say that Audrey the Great Dane and I are returning home tonight! I am so looking forward to cleaning up and getting settled (literally...I feel like a kid going to Disneyland...I am jumping up and down. My co-worker just asked what I ate for breakfast! I'm sure the Lucky Charms aren't helping).

Now is the perfect time to go through items I haven't used or worn in 6 months and donate them. There is something so refreshing about lightening your load. Some of you must think I'm crazy as I've pretty much 'lightened my load' as much as anyone could, but you know, after that brief moment of contemplation when I had to decide what I should grab and put in the car as I ran out the door, I realize I could afford to give myself a little more freedom.

Lots and lots of love to you all.

To be continued...

B's latest news...

Wildfire Threatens Luxury Malibu Homes

Last Edited: Sunday, 21 Oct 2007, 2:30 PM EDT

Created: Sunday, 21 Oct 2007, 1:30 PM EDT

10/21/2007 -- A wildfire is raging in the Malibu Hills, an upscale area of California that attracts A-list film stars. The flames have already destroyed a spectacular property named Castle Kashan that overlooks the Pacific Ocean. Fanned by strong winds, the blaze is forcing the evacuation of hundreds from their luxury homes. Some 400 firefighters are battling against the wildfire, which is also posing a threat to Pepperdine University. Students were told to gather in the university's basketball arena as the campus was evacuated. At least 500 acres of land has been engulfed and the Pacific Coast Highway has been closed. Television footage showed thick smoke obscuring the sun and erratic wind gusts of up to 65 mph bending palm trees nearly in half. Cars and trees along the highway could be seen catching fire. Wildfires were widely expected in Southern California over the weekend as hot weather and high winds marked the height of traditional wildfire season after one of the driest rain years on record. ....

I was awakened at 5:10am by a police officer with a megaphone blasting into my window "This is the Los Angeles Police Department. You must leave your residence now. Please evacuate. There is a fire very near by. Please EVACUATE".

I grabbed my dog, threw on pair of jeans, pulled on my Uggs, grabbed my passport and headed out the door...basically still asleep. Power in Malibu was out. I still don't know what I tossed into my backpack...most likely one sock and my least favorite pair of underwear. Wind was so strong as I drove aimlessly down the PCH, trash cans were flying across the highway in front of me. Street signs were hanging off of their poles, lit only by my headlights and the passing firetrucks.

I'm OK. We're OK. My possessions....not so sure, but who cares? The "Castle Kashan" mentioned in the above article is right above my house. The Malibu Presbyterian Church showed in the photo above is...or was located right below my house. I heard that the house on the corner (4 doors down) burned to the ground. The fire is still burning.

Perspective. I'm so grateful to have friends that care. I am sitting on Taylor's floor watching the news as she is kind enough to send an email out to folks letting them know me and the dog are OK. Her mom made pancakes (my favorite thing) and coffee. I've been phoned, text messaged, emailed by so many of you, I feel like the luckiest girl alive. Thank you.

Much love.

To be continued....

For the love of cars.

Many of you know I have a slight bit of a conflict going on in inside regarding cars. I am first and foremost for the environment, yet have a love for sports cars with smooth lines that could get me into a lot of trouble (if I only had a garage for them). I suppose it is similar to my challenge of finding a suitable partner. Where to find a hot, clean, environmentally keen man who is low maintenance, always down for a road trip, upfront about communicating when he needs time to 're-fuel', is safe and fun to drive? *Add unbelievably dramatic sigh here.*

Today, I fell in love at first sight. I attended the 2nd annual AltCar Expo in Santa Monica, and there he was...top off, ready to be energized...by being plugged into a wall. Yes. A plug-in electric Porsche 959. Beautiful. Simple. Classic. Possible.

Check out EV Porsche online at http://www.evporsche.com.

Fun times.

Beauty defined.

This is f**king beautiful.

Where are you?

"The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved, desirous of everything at
the same time, the ones who never yawn or
say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn,
burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles
exploding like spiders across the stars..."

~ Jack Kerouac

Mac OSeX

Pre-ordered LEOPARD today!!!!! Kicks major ass. From the new ichat effects, to 'Spaces' (to feng shui your desk top), to the capability to organize your files into stacks....yikes, I may have just experienced a geek-gasm. :)

Happy Birthday, lil' brudder!!!!

My little brother, whom I love with all of my heart, is turning a year older today. I can't express with mere words on a page how proud I am of him and his life, how he has chosen to live it as a free spirit, and his many creative successes. He is surely one of the most talented, gifted and authentic souls alive today.

I remember telling him when we were very little "It won't happen unless you truly believe!!! You can not doubt one bit!". Of course, I was referring to the fact that he surely could fly whilst sitting upon a skateboard, with cardboard wings and a back-pack containing one peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a few Legos and his favorite stuffed animal monkey that resembled him to a 'T'.

I stood behind him with tear filled eyes, making him promise that he'd come back and pick me up once he was in the air, so we could escape the harshness of our lives at the time. Where were we headed? Probably Disneyland...there were plenty of workers there that could take care of us and plenty of rides to find shelter in. It didn't matter. We just wanted out and we knew if we had each other, we could accomplish anything. Well, I pushed and pushed as fast as I could down the sidewalk on Reading Drive in that old California town. No lift off. Of course it was due to the ounce of doubt he was holding onto. Ya, big sis always knew how to apply the pressure. Faith!!!! Must...have...faith!

And here we are today, still having conversations on belief and accomplishment. Still providing for one another when the other needs support. I can't imagine having only one child....growing up without my monkey-faced little brother would have not been so fun.

Here's to growing up and moving on. I love you little brudder.

Your biggest fan,

b

Failure

With the sound of ocean waves crashing in the background, I sat in a cloud-like chair this evening surrounded by four beautiful, powerful women to whom I am grateful to consider friends. We all come from completely different backgrounds, some different countries, yet we were still able to enjoy each other's company, sharing laughter, memories and an unforgettable sunset sprinkled with a magical pod of dolphins. I believe the time we shared today was in the plan since before we were born.

The topic came up regarding that ever so popular quote found on numerous paper-weights: "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail"? Thoughts of my life up to this point swarmed in my head like bees buzzing about frantically, searching for nectar. After a bout of silence, the word came to me. Love. I didn't want to say it aloud, but small and timid as the word was, it screamed out relentless, louder than an impetuous Hummer limousine screams "Hey look at me, look at me!!!!" I had to say it.

From the time I was a little girl, with a huge imagination and a serious faith in wishful thinking (later realizing I was actually tapping into creative visualization at a very early age), I have always gone after what I wanted with full force and accomplished what I set out to do, for the most part. One example, becoming a stand up comic. Shy as ever, with many issues to work out at the time, I did it. I did it until I no longer needed to. I've hoped to work with particular film directors and it has happened. I obsessed about a particular car for a year, I bought it. Have always wanted to live in Malibu...here I am. Very shallow hopes I know, but you get the picture.

So, what would I do then, if failing was not an option? As tears began to fill my eyes, I came to the realization that I would choose to LOVE with all my heart, mind, soul and strength...breaking down all walls, all barriers, expressing raw emotion and freely sharing joy with the utmost tribal strength, holding back nothing. No worries, no insecurities, no secrets, no games, no ego. Just me and another sharing individual moments, one at a time. A friend, a family member, a husband, a child: love.

Love is patient. Love is unselfish. Love is faithful. Love is kind. Love is hopeful. Love is confident. Love is unconditional. Love is hard. Time to get started.